Life got a bit mental...

Ok so it really has been an age since I last blogged but there is actually quite an impressive reason for my absence. Honest.
Sooooo, it was my birthday, my 30th as I think I may have mentioned before (!) and after my brilliant party at Alton Towers (totally refuse to grow up) my mister took me away for a romantic break by the sea. To get to the point whilst we were away I discovered that we had a bun in the oven. Now this came as quite a surprise, especially as we had our wedding booked for April and there's no way that beautiful dress was gonna wrap around me when seven and a half months pregnant! All the same we were thrilled along with being completely scared stiff of course ;) My main concern was that I'd been on the Oblivion THREE TIMES at the Towers when I must have been 3 weeks gone and I was convinced that this can't be a good thing! Fortunately upon returning home my doc managed to convince me that this didn't mean that I had smooshed the little cells and that everything was A-OK. The reason I haven't blogged in such a long time is because it took me this long to fully get to grips with this life changing news, which probably isn't that surprising! The little Jigglypuff (this WILL be his/her name - I have 22 weeks left to convince the mister...) is due in June and the wedding has been postponed until April 2011. Ten months to lose the 15 stone I'll no doubt gain. The excuse "eating for two" is just too bloody brilliant not to use quite frankly! It's amazing you know, I've spent the last 14 years in a state of a perpetual hunger just like every other woman I've ever known and all of a sudden I'm not even ALLOWED to diet! How great is THAT?! Forgive me if I seem a little giddy but as I'm currently scoffing raspberry ripple ice-cream on a Monday afternoon for no other reason than that's what I fancy I think I can be excused.
I'm very very excited about becoming a parent and fascinated by just how vastly my life is about to change. I really think I'm ready for jumping into the unknown and evolving into someone a little bit different from the person I've spent 30 years becoming. Fingers crossed I won't make a complete hash of it!
Hopefully I'll get the urge to blog a bit more frequently now I'm back in the land of the living (two months of extreme morning* sickness turned me into a zombie).

Ta ta for now.

*ALL DAY EVERY DAY!

Before I'm Thirty

Yep, it's been forever again but there's not even an apology this time. You know the drill...
My inspiration, if that's not too grand a word for it, is my birthday this time. If you were looking for a recipe you're all out of luck I'm afraid :)
So I'm going to be thirty soon. Yes T. H. I. R. T. Y. Really really soon. There's a good reason why this word rhymes with dirty because it's honestly the filthiest word I can think of right now. Surely this birthday has to be the most traumatic? Sixteen, eighteen, twenty-one, twenty-five, all these birthdays are pretty exciting in lots of ways. Sure, you make a little fuss at 25 because it has the slightest hint that you may just be a 'proper grown-up' now, but deep down you're more than aware that actually you're still just in your mid-twenties and nobody in their right mind could call you old. And on the other side we have forty, fifty, sixty and beyond if you're lucky. I'm inclined to think that by the time you reach these milestones you've already accepted that you are indeed a full blown adult and although getting older isn't a bag of laughs it's certainly inevitable. And, as you're now so wise with maturity you won't feel like throwing a massive paddy and holding your breath until you pass out just to make it all go away. Right now I feel some need to commit the latter but I have to say it isn't actually quite as terrifying as I once imagined it to be. In fact I'll let you in on a little known secret here... After doing a small poll amongst my nearest and dearest we've come to the conclusion that turning 29 is far worse than reaching the big 3 0. The stress I put myself through last year was horrendous! Knowing that the coming year was to be the last of my twenties sent my head into serious Scanners mode (it's a movie if you don't know - watch and be disgusted), and I was an absolute nightmare for at least three months before the event. In fact I was so very horrible at my birthday party that I'm too ashamed to share my behaviour with the world wide web, but rest assured that Veruca Salt would have been inspired by my petulance. Obviously I had imagined that THIS birthday was going to send me completely over the edge and I'd seriously considered booking myself into a mental institution for six months just to be around people who could cope with my freak out. However, like I said it really doesn't feel so bad. It doesn't feel GOOD but I think I might just feel a sense of relief when the bloody thing gets here and I can get on with the rest of my life.
There is something about this momentous occasion though that I simply can't ignore and that's all those billions of 'things you MUST do & learn before you're 30' lists that are floating around in cyber space. Most of them are complete shit and quite frankly if I had done half the things they wanted me to I'd be ashamed to know myself, so I decided to make one of my own. So here's the stuff I think is important to know. It's schmaltzy in parts but it's the best advice I can give. Obviously I'm still working on a few of these myself, but heck I've still got two and a half weeks left to go...

1 - Learn to cook for yourself. It doesn't have to be an array of amazing dishes but by this point you need to have at least two or three ways of feeding yourself and others without the aid of a microwave. I know I sound like your granny but it's the ruddy truth!
2 - Get rid of all the deadwood in your life once and for all. "Friends" who make you feel like something they've trodden in, bosses who make your working life a living nightmare, and notions of who you think you're supposed to be. This is it. Whoever you are right now is the person you're supposed to be. Try and like that person, treat them like you would a good friend and stop forcing them to be something they'll never become. As long as you're not hurting yourself or others YOU'RE ALRIGHT :)
3 - Stand up for yourself, the ones you love and the things you believe in. This sounds like a woolly one but I honestly think it's the trickiest lesson of them all. All of the people will not like you all of the time, it's just impossible. Instead of attempting to please and placate, stand firm and hang your thoughts and feelings out there for others to see. Yes, this will make you unpopular with some but quite honestly these aren't the people you need in your life anyway. Others, whether they agree with you or not will be impressed by the belief you show in yourself and respect you - these are the ones to hang on to.
4 - If you're not already a parent and you think that someday you might like to be, then get a pet. It's the best way to learn how to put the needs of something which is defenceless and mute before your own. Dogs are the most dependant so if you have the inclination then go for it, I'm sure you'll be glad you did!
5 - Learn to be alone sometimes. This one's hard for me. I've always been terrible at being on my own but it's such an important lesson that I've slogged my guts out at achieving it. The only person we'll never lose touch with is ourselves so we need to find that person bloody good company.

And that's it I think. Nothing funny or wild or deviant I'm afraid, just five things that I wanted to share. Oh and one other - if you haven't flung yourself of a bridge with a bit of elastic tied around your ankles by this point then you haven't lived at all. Ha ha ha.

I did warn you...

Yeah I know, it's been like a zillion years since I posted anything on here but in fairness I stated at the beginning just how staggeringly lazy I am so here's your proof! Another reason for not bothering has been my lack of inspiration. I've considered writing about many things, for example my pug and I were attacked by a big scary dog in the park so I was gonna rant about irresponsible idiot dog owners but I decided that might just be depressing and dull (good call eh?). I also considered telling you ALL about my gorgeous new Shug* puppy, Margot but then I realised how bloody bored I get when people go on and on about their kids and decided this was no different (although she is so ruddy CUTE as the picture proves!).
Sooooo I've made the decision to ease myself back into this blogging thing by relying on tried and tested ground - a recipe. Yeah it's not big or clever but hell, when you taste the thing you'll be loving me then.


Comfort Eggs

This is lovely for a leisurely breakfast when the weather's a bit miserable :)

Serves 2

Tablespoon of olive oil
Half a onion
Green chili
Tin of chopped tomatoes
Knob of butter
4 eggs
Splash of milk
Handful of Cheddar cheese
Salt & Pepper
4 slices of bread, toasted

Heat the oil in a pan then add the chopped onion and fry gently on a medium heat until browned. This takes much longer than you think so allow a good 6 minutes - nothing worse than undercooked onion! Then add the chopped chili and cook for a further 2 mins. Pour in the chopped tomatoes and leave to simmer.
In a bowl add the eggs, milk and seasoning and whisk together until frothy. Melt the butter in a new pan and pour in the eggy mixture. Keep the heat medium-low. Scramble the eggs by stirring every now and then and don't let them stick to the bottom of the pan. When the eggs are almost there add the cheese and stir through then add the tomato sauce. Mix thoroughly. Served on hot buttery toast this is certain to warm the cockles of your heart. Enjoy. Yum!



*Shih Tzu/Pug cross. Of course there are other variations on the name such as Pug Tzu and Shih Poo - the latter is particularly delightful..

Day Three...

This morning I found the diary I'd kept as a thirteen year old. I sat and read the whole thing in one sitting as it was bloody riveting! Not, sadly, because it was full of intrigue and mystery, or because it was brilliantly witty (it WASN'T) but because I couldn't really believe that the person in there had ever been me. It was surreal, all those long forgotten feelings came rushing to the surface to remind me that no matter how far you think you've come, every incarnation you've ever been is still buried somewhere deep inside. What a scary fact.
One of the (many) weird things it made me think of was just how grown up I thought I was at that age! The older I get the easier it is to forget that kids really don't stay innocent for very long at all. Practically the whole ruddy thing is about BOYS. Lots of them. And each one I am desperately and hopelessly in love with - for about a week. Then I move easily onto my next undying crush. I was tickled by how if my feelings for someone weren't reciprocated instantly I completely lost interest in them! Ha, so fickle. I never have been someone who wanted to be in anyone's gang who doesn't want to be in mine. Teflon-coated ego!
Another thing I was surprised at was just how shallow and vacuous I was. I realise that there aren't many young teenagers with hidden depths but, good god; I'm just a walking, talking hormone!
I also note that I seem to have been a bit mean. I'm ready to admit that I was many unpleasant things as a child, bossy, loud, opinionated, precocious, and a general little madam (most of which I still am) but I've also learned with time that I wasn't all bad... I'd also claim that I was loyal, fearless, fun, tough and charming. The one thing I believed I wasn't was MEAN. But it turns out that I really was a bit, as my embarrassing diary testifies.
A few years ago a girl walked up to me in a club and accused me of having made her life hell. I only vaguely recognised her and had to ask someone else for her name. I spent the following weeks absolutely mortified and checked with all my friends from childhood that she was mistaken, wasn't she? I still have no recollection of ever bullying this girl, in fact I can't think of any specific memories with her in them, in my mind she was simply another member of my drama group (see, a performing arts brat too - it just gets better!). However there are other incidents in my diary involving other people that solidify my status as a bit of a cow. I can no longer live in denial.
So, the question is, what do I do with this proof? How should I atone for my past wrongs and is it even possible? I think I feel a little better having told you, my anonymous reader, so that's a start. Is it helpful to carry around with us guilt that we can do nothing about? Will it help me be a better, kinder person in future to always bear in mind that long ago I hurt someones feelings intentionally? Or is this simply what being a kid is all about? Don't we have to make mistakes in the first place in order to learn from them? I truly am sorry for my crappy behaviour but I also know that I have my fair share of memories where I was on the receiving end of meanness and I don't choose to spend my time brooding over that. Nor would I ever approach a grown woman in a public place and chastise her for something that happened 15 years ago. Perhaps all I can really do is keep that little meanie madam hidden somewhere inside me for the rest of my life and make sure that the other, better versions of myself keep her squashed there forever. I promise to try...

The Second One

Sooooo, day two of my blogging adventures and still I haven't a clue of what I want to write about. I may have to simply resort to telling you about one of the things in life that I love.
I love...
Eating chunky peanut butter straight out of the jar using my finger. For some reason it tastes a million times better this way. I think it's exciting because of the memory of being yelled at for doing it as a kid. I'm still utterly thrilled at the idea that this is MY jar of peanut butter, in MY fridge, and I can eat it in any piggy old way I choose to.
On a similar note one of the main reasons (if not THE main reason) I had for desperately wanting to be a 'grown-up' was the undeniably delicious thought that one day I'd be able to purchase a tub of Philadelphia cheese and eat the whole bloody lot in one sitting if I wanted to. I almost couldn't wrap my head around the freedom of being able to just buy it and eat it all WITHOUT GETTING DONE! I honestly don't believe this buzz will ever wear off, and I'm almost thirty *shhhhhh*

I think I just may be a glutton... but a happy one.

The Beginning

So here it is, my very first blog. I've been meaning to start this for such a long time but as I'm incurably lazy I never got around to it. Most of my life takes place in my head, there's so many brilliant things I've thought about doing but putting them into actuality never seems to happen. I don't mind so much. At least my imagination isn't broken. The problem I have is that although I've wanted to blog for a while I never had any idea of what on earth I'd write about. I know that most people choose a subject or a theme but I'm afraid I have neither. What I DO have though is a great recipe for burgers... yep you heard, burgers. This was what I made for dinner last night, it was was yummy, simple and I think you should try it.

REGRUB BURGER
Serves 2

Splash of olive oil
300g Minced Beef
Half a chopped onion
1 Egg
Handful of breadcrumbs
Cumin
Mustard
4 Burger Baps

Preheat the oven to 200C. Grease a baking tray with the olive oil. Mix the beef, onion, egg, breadcrumbs, cumin, mustard and salt & pepper in a bowl with your hands then divide into four burger shapes onto the baking tray. Bake in the oven for 25 minutes, turning once halfway through.

I like mine with lettuce tomato & mayonnaise, my chap likes them with a solitary dollop of ketchup. Whatever works for you, enjoy!

And that's it, my very first blog post is born! I wonder what will happen next time...
Till then, ta ta.