My little cat, Whitby, died yesterday. This has made me so sad that I think I may feel better just sharing with someone, anyone, why she was so great.
We got Whitby over ten years ago from a friend when she was just 6 weeks old. I chose her from the litter because she crawled into the crook of my neck and immediately fell asleep, so therefore impossible to give back! Her mother was a cat called 'Cat' who had an hilarious Hitler moustache.
Whitby was a bugger of a kitten, climbing the Christmas tree and pulling it over wasn't her finest moment. Even worse was the time she attacked the mister and ended up hanging by her claws from his Adam's apple. He wasn't impressed. Whitby never really liked men much for reasons we couldn't fathom, and she hated other cats even more. In fact I'm utterly convinced that she never imagined for a minute that she WAS a cat. I'm convinced she thought herself human. A gay human. She loved me so much. She would come hither to the slightest sound I made and liked nothing better than cuddling up with me of an evening and being scratched under her collar and having her cheeks stroked. Back when she was a kitten I worked shifts and every other week we used to cosy up on the sofa together in the afternoon and watch Magnum PI. She was a big fan. Perhaps the tash reminded her of her mum...
Whitby had awesome comedy timing. Not too long ago we spent spent hours searching for her without success. I was devastated as I knew she wouldn't leave me without there being a sinister reason for it. We were in the spare room getting ready for bed when I turned to the mister and said "do you think that's it? Do you think we've lost her for good?" He replied, "Yeah, I'm sorry, but I reckon so" There was a beat, we both sighed, and then *scratch scratch scratch* "What was THAT?!" * more scratching* "Bloody hell, she's in that drawer!". Turns out she'd somehow managed to get herself into the mister's desk drawer and must have been sleeping in there for the best part of a day! Daft mare. The timing of the appearance though made me chuckle for days. She was all 'what's wrong with you idiots? Can't a girl catch some zeds in the privacy of desk drawer now? Sheesh...'
I'll really really miss her. More than I even imaged I would. It's been such a long relationship. We've never lived in this house without her. In fact my toddler refers to the spare room as Whitby's bedroom, and it was really. Whitby utterly loathed the vets and it was a horrible ordeal for her ever having to visit. In fact she was once kept in there for observation purposes and a few hours after we'd left her the vet called back demanding that we collect her and observe her at home as she'd turned into a demon, upsetting the other animals and so vicious the staff couldn't get near her. My little Whitby cat! I would never have believed she had it in her! We had to stop using a cattery when we went on holiday in the past few years too as she would go on hunger strike every time. Luckily we had neighbours who would simply visit the house to care for her. I'm glad it was "her bedroom" where she took her final breath, safe warm and surrounded by her domain. Just like a little old lady who steadfastly refuses to die in hospital. She had it her way.
Whitby cat, you were a dude. I'm so sad that you're gone and I promise I won't ever forget you.
Thursday, 28 February 2013
Monday, 13 February 2012
Saturday, 21 January 2012
Beauty Bumf.



You've seen this post a million times, maybe more. I'm sorry to put you through this again but I genuinely feel that as a 32 year old ex-beauty-junkie I may have actually found some brilliant products that I'd like to share with you. I can't let the ridiculous amount of cash that I've frittered away on overpriced bits of gunk to smear on my face be for my gain only. What can I say other than I'm a GIVER. Aren't you a lucky reader...
Another reason I want to do this is because now I'm poor and can no longer afford to experiment I still have complete loyalty to a few products despite the cost. This means those babies are GOOOOOD.
So here goes, starting with the basics...
FOUNDATION - Clarins Truly Matte Foundation in Shell
First let me say that I have combination skin, a dry forehead and cheeks with a oily nose and chin. This foundation makes the lot completely even and doesn't make the dry bits look or feel dryer. It's a perfect match colour-wise and is light reflecting which I like to think makes me look younger (shut up!). It's also SPF 15 so you can feel safe from the nasty scorchy sun, poor bugger.
CONCEALER - Nars in Vanilla
This has a brilliant consistency and can cover ANYTHING. I apply it with a little brush at home and straight from the tube on the move, both work perfectly. It's a dream.
UNDER EYE CONCEALER - Yves Saint Laurent Touche Eclat
There's no point me saying anything, it's all been said before. There's a really good reason it's a classic. Buy it.
Trust me, with these 3 products your face will look brilliant and ready for the fancy stuff.
To be continued...
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
Curry. Mmmmmmmmm

So I'm getting married in a few weeks. Yeah... IN A FEW WEEKS *gulp* So obviously I'm on a diet. Pah. I hate dieting, hate exercise even more and bottom of my hate pile is low fat food. If you're going to spend time cooking then the end result just has to be delicious or there's no point. I'd rather eat a tiny portion of something calorie laden and kill myself running afterwards than a massive bowl full of bland muck. However sometimes it's possible to make something that tastes great and actually ain't bad for you either. It's a rare beast but I've devised a recipe for a pretty healthy curry which is gorgeous. And actually tastes like curry! Always a bonus I find :D
So here it is. Hope you like it as much as I do.
Believe it or not this curry's quite healthy!
Serves 2
1 tbsp olive oil
1 chopped onion
1 chopped garlic clove
3 potatoes chopped small
2 chicken breasts chopped into chunks
2 tsp curry powder
1tbsp tomato puree
1/2 pint of water
6 chopped spring onions
1 tsp garam masala
1 tbsp ground almonds
Heat the oil in the pan and cook the onion on a medium heat until starting to brown then add the garlic and cook for another minute. Turn down the heat a little and add the chopped potato. Fry for a couple of minutes and stir as often as you can. Add the chicken and fry until cooked through. Add to the pan the curry powder then tomato puree and cook for a minute. Pour in the water and bring up to the boil. After a minute or so turn the pan down and add the spring onions, garam masala and ground almonds then season to taste with salt & pepper. Leave to simmer for 30 minutes adding more water if you think it may need it then serve with whatever you fancy! Rice & naan bread are my faves.
It feels wrong having no cream or coconut milk in there but the starch from the spuds thickens the water up nicely so it actually has a really nice texture and the flavours are lush!
Thursday, 2 December 2010
Another recipe...
Hello there reader. If you do indeed exist I'd like to apologise again for being just about the laziest blogger in blogsville and hope you can find it in you heart to forgive me? If not though I'm sure I'll get over it *blows massive raspberry* Anyway as a peace offering I've given you the gift of a snap of my boy. Scrummy!!I'm here with another chicken recipe because (I'm lazy and...) everybody loves a bit of chicken. No?
Honey Chicken Mountain
Serves 2
2 chicken breasts
2tbsp honey
Tbsp lemon juice
1 clove of garlic
Tbsp olive oil
1 green pepper
1 red pepper
4 Maris piper spuds
Tbsp butter
Splash of milk
Handful of strong cheddar cheese
Salt & Pepper
Slice each chicken breast into three and pop in a bowl. Cover with the lemon juice, honey and crushed garlic, stir and put the bowl into the fridge to marinade for 20 minutes.
Peel and slice the potatoes into chunks, add to a saucepan, cover with cold water and a pinch of salt and bring to the boil.
Meanwhile add the oil to a frying pan and place on a medium heat. Slice the peppers then add the green to the pan followed by the red. Once the green pepper starts to brown add the chicken and once the chicken starts to brown add the remainder of the marinade.
When the potatoes have boiled drain the water and put them in a bowl along with the milk, butter & seasoning and mash. Add the cheese and mash a bit more.
Place a mountain of mash onto each (heated) plate, place the chicken on top then drizzle the peppers and sauce over everything. Then eat! It's absolutely luscious believe you me :)
I think I'm going to start snapping my dishes when I make them because it's always a good thing to have a picture to copy!
Monday, 11 October 2010
I'M STILL ALIVE!!
Just thought I'd let you know case you were worried... It's been a while! Fabulous excuse though, wee boy called Harry (Jigglypuff got vetoed. Gutted). Amazing and all that. REALLY. Promise to get some coherent thoughts down on here about everything that's happened/happening at some point when I'm not up to my eyeballs ;p
Thursday, 29 April 2010
I'm back!

So I'm fine and the bubs is fine and there's only six weeks left to go before I pop. Yikes. I'm giddy beyond belief and utterly petrified at the same time. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in over 3 months now and although I realise that a newborn isn't exactly going to improve this situation it has to be nicer to be woken up several times in the night because you're needed rather than just in agony with dodgy hips! Or at least I'm hoping so. It feels a bit like having a really long birthday when you're preggers as every time I see somebody they want to hand me a present. Excellent :) I've been given so many gorgeous gorgeous things it's bloody lovely! There's a minute pair of lemon fluffy socks that make me cry every single time I look at them so I think it's a cert that I've completely lost my mind at this stage. I wonder if I'll ever get my old brain back or if I'm doolally tap for good now. Probably the latter...
Anyhoo, to business - here's another super recipe that I love and I'm sure you will too. It doesn't look up to much on paper but believe me when I tell you that it's delicious and something a little different to all the zillions of other chicken dishes out there. It wouldn't win any beauty contests though so I wouldn't advice it for an uber posh dinner party but it makes a cracking cozy dinner for you and that lucky bugger you cook for ;)
NOT YOUR RUN-OF-THE-MILL CHICKEN
Serves 2
2 chicken breasts
1tbsp honey
1tbsp mayonnaise
1/2 tsp mustard
3 slices of bacon
Olive oil
1/2 onion
2 handfuls of mushrooms
1 cup of cheddar cheese
Rub the chicken with salt and pop it in the fridge for 20 minutes. Slice the bacon down the centre and grill it. Mix the honey, mayonnaise and mustard together to make a sauce. Heat the oil in a saucepan, slice the onion and fry until golden. Add the chicken breasts to the pan and cook until browned. Place the chicken in a ovenproof dish along with the onions. Pour the sauce over each breast then place the bacon on top. Scatter the chopped uncooked mushrooms over the dish then top with the cheese. Place in a pre-heated oven at 180 degrees for 20 minutes. Serve either with white rice or a baked potato smothered in butter. Yummy!
Wednesday, 3 February 2010
Rubbish at this malarky!
Yep, I'm terrible. But as I don't think that anyone besides myself reads this anyway I don't suppose it matters that I only blog once a blue moon. I don't have much to say this time either - guilt simply got the best of me...
Jigglypuff's just fine, kicking away. It's the weirdest feeling ever but bloody lovely all the same. Eighteen weeks left to go, I honestly can't wait!
My poor excuse to blog this time is yet another recipe. It's dead simple and dead gorgeous. Now there's a quote for you! Seriously you'd have to be a total fool not to manage this one and your guests even bigger fools not to love it. Ok, here we are then:
Tasty Tuna Bake
Serves 4
For the tomato sauce
Olive oil
Knob of butter
1 chopped onion
2 crushed garlic cloves
6 chopped sundried tomatoes
Tablespoon of tomato puree
12 cherry tomatoes cut into quarters (vine ripened ones are best)
Tin of chopped tomatoes
Fresh torn basil
Teaspoon of oregano
Salt & Pepper
For the white sauce
40g butter
25g plain flour
425ml milk
Pinch of nutmeg
Pepper
Pasta
Tin of tuna
Cheddar cheese to top
Pre-heat the oven to 180C / gas mark 5. Fill a large pan with cold water and leave to boil, adding the pasta when ready. Heat the olive oil and butter in another saucepan then add the chopped onion, gently fry until golden. Turn down the heat a little and add the garlic (it's REALLY easy to burn garlic and then it tastes rank so do go steady!). Add the sundried tomatoes to the pan along with the tomato puree and cherry tomatoes. Stir occasionally until the tomatoes have started to fall apart. Finally add the tin of tomatoes, basil, oregano salt and pepper and leave to simmer.
For the white sauce add all the ingredients to a small saucepan on a medium heat then whisk occasionally until the sauce starts to thicken.
Once the pasta is cooked, drain then pour into a large ovenproof pot. Cover with the tomato sauce, then the tin of tuna and finally the white sauce and stir until completely mixed. Sprinkle with the cheddar then pop in the oven uncovered for 20 minutes until baked. Serve with some salad and a smile!
This dish is best consumed in cold weather with people who make you laugh - as are all dishes funnily enough ;)
Jigglypuff's just fine, kicking away. It's the weirdest feeling ever but bloody lovely all the same. Eighteen weeks left to go, I honestly can't wait!
My poor excuse to blog this time is yet another recipe. It's dead simple and dead gorgeous. Now there's a quote for you! Seriously you'd have to be a total fool not to manage this one and your guests even bigger fools not to love it. Ok, here we are then:
Tasty Tuna Bake
Serves 4
For the tomato sauce
Olive oil
Knob of butter
1 chopped onion
2 crushed garlic cloves
6 chopped sundried tomatoes
Tablespoon of tomato puree
12 cherry tomatoes cut into quarters (vine ripened ones are best)
Tin of chopped tomatoes
Fresh torn basil
Teaspoon of oregano
Salt & Pepper
For the white sauce
40g butter
25g plain flour
425ml milk
Pinch of nutmeg
Pepper
Pasta
Tin of tuna
Cheddar cheese to top
Pre-heat the oven to 180C / gas mark 5. Fill a large pan with cold water and leave to boil, adding the pasta when ready. Heat the olive oil and butter in another saucepan then add the chopped onion, gently fry until golden. Turn down the heat a little and add the garlic (it's REALLY easy to burn garlic and then it tastes rank so do go steady!). Add the sundried tomatoes to the pan along with the tomato puree and cherry tomatoes. Stir occasionally until the tomatoes have started to fall apart. Finally add the tin of tomatoes, basil, oregano salt and pepper and leave to simmer.
For the white sauce add all the ingredients to a small saucepan on a medium heat then whisk occasionally until the sauce starts to thicken.
Once the pasta is cooked, drain then pour into a large ovenproof pot. Cover with the tomato sauce, then the tin of tuna and finally the white sauce and stir until completely mixed. Sprinkle with the cheddar then pop in the oven uncovered for 20 minutes until baked. Serve with some salad and a smile!
This dish is best consumed in cold weather with people who make you laugh - as are all dishes funnily enough ;)
Monday, 28 December 2009
Life got a bit mental...

Ok so it really has been an age since I last blogged but there is actually quite an impressive reason for my absence. Honest.
Sooooo, it was my birthday, my 30th as I think I may have mentioned before (!) and after my brilliant party at Alton Towers (totally refuse to grow up) my mister took me away for a romantic break by the sea. To get to the point whilst we were away I discovered that we had a bun in the oven. Now this came as quite a surprise, especially as we had our wedding booked for April and there's no way that beautiful dress was gonna wrap around me when seven and a half months pregnant! All the same we were thrilled along with being completely scared stiff of course ;) My main concern was that I'd been on the Oblivion THREE TIMES at the Towers when I must have been 3 weeks gone and I was convinced that this can't be a good thing! Fortunately upon returning home my doc managed to convince me that this didn't mean that I had smooshed the little cells and that everything was A-OK. The reason I haven't blogged in such a long time is because it took me this long to fully get to grips with this life changing news, which probably isn't that surprising! The little Jigglypuff (this WILL be his/her name - I have 22 weeks left to convince the mister...) is due in June and the wedding has been postponed until April 2011. Ten months to lose the 15 stone I'll no doubt gain. The excuse "eating for two" is just too bloody brilliant not to use quite frankly! It's amazing you know, I've spent the last 14 years in a state of a perpetual hunger just like every other woman I've ever known and all of a sudden I'm not even ALLOWED to diet! How great is THAT?! Forgive me if I seem a little giddy but as I'm currently scoffing raspberry ripple ice-cream on a Monday afternoon for no other reason than that's what I fancy I think I can be excused.
I'm very very excited about becoming a parent and fascinated by just how vastly my life is about to change. I really think I'm ready for jumping into the unknown and evolving into someone a little bit different from the person I've spent 30 years becoming. Fingers crossed I won't make a complete hash of it!
Hopefully I'll get the urge to blog a bit more frequently now I'm back in the land of the living (two months of extreme morning* sickness turned me into a zombie).
Ta ta for now.
*ALL DAY EVERY DAY!
Tuesday, 15 September 2009
Before I'm Thirty
Yep, it's been forever again but there's not even an apology this time. You know the drill...My inspiration, if that's not too grand a word for it, is my birthday this time. If you were looking for a recipe you're all out of luck I'm afraid :)
So I'm going to be thirty soon. Yes T. H. I. R. T. Y. Really really soon. There's a good reason why this word rhymes with dirty because it's honestly the filthiest word I can think of right now. Surely this birthday has to be the most traumatic? Sixteen, eighteen, twenty-one, twenty-five, all these birthdays are pretty exciting in lots of ways. Sure, you make a little fuss at 25 because it has the slightest hint that you may just be a 'proper grown-up' now, but deep down you're more than aware that actually you're still just in your mid-twenties and nobody in their right mind could call you old. And on the other side we have forty, fifty, sixty and beyond if you're lucky. I'm inclined to think that by the time you reach these milestones you've already accepted that you are indeed a full blown adult and although getting older isn't a bag of laughs it's certainly inevitable. And, as you're now so wise with maturity you won't feel like throwing a massive paddy and holding your breath until you pass out just to make it all go away. Right now I feel some need to commit the latter but I have to say it isn't actually quite as terrifying as I once imagined it to be. In fact I'll let you in on a little known secret here... After doing a small poll amongst my nearest and dearest we've come to the conclusion that turning 29 is far worse than reaching the big 3 0. The stress I put myself through last year was horrendous! Knowing that the coming year was to be the last of my twenties sent my head into serious Scanners mode (it's a movie if you don't know - watch and be disgusted), and I was an absolute nightmare for at least three months before the event. In fact I was so very horrible at my birthday party that I'm too ashamed to share my behaviour with the world wide web, but rest assured that Veruca Salt would have been inspired by my petulance. Obviously I had imagined that THIS birthday was going to send me completely over the edge and I'd seriously considered booking myself into a mental institution for six months just to be around people who could cope with my freak out. However, like I said it really doesn't feel so bad. It doesn't feel GOOD but I think I might just feel a sense of relief when the bloody thing gets here and I can get on with the rest of my life.
There is something about this momentous occasion though that I simply can't ignore and that's all those billions of 'things you MUST do & learn before you're 30' lists that are floating around in cyber space. Most of them are complete shit and quite frankly if I had done half the things they wanted me to I'd be ashamed to know myself, so I decided to make one of my own. So here's the stuff I think is important to know. It's schmaltzy in parts but it's the best advice I can give. Obviously I'm still working on a few of these myself, but heck I've still got two and a half weeks left to go...
1 - Learn to cook for yourself. It doesn't have to be an array of amazing dishes but by this point you need to have at least two or three ways of feeding yourself and others without the aid of a microwave. I know I sound like your granny but it's the ruddy truth!
2 - Get rid of all the deadwood in your life once and for all. "Friends" who make you feel like something they've trodden in, bosses who make your working life a living nightmare, and notions of who you think you're supposed to be. This is it. Whoever you are right now is the person you're supposed to be. Try and like that person, treat them like you would a good friend and stop forcing them to be something they'll never become. As long as you're not hurting yourself or others YOU'RE ALRIGHT :)
3 - Stand up for yourself, the ones you love and the things you believe in. This sounds like a woolly one but I honestly think it's the trickiest lesson of them all. All of the people will not like you all of the time, it's just impossible. Instead of attempting to please and placate, stand firm and hang your thoughts and feelings out there for others to see. Yes, this will make you unpopular with some but quite honestly these aren't the people you need in your life anyway. Others, whether they agree with you or not will be impressed by the belief you show in yourself and respect you - these are the ones to hang on to.
4 - If you're not already a parent and you think that someday you might like to be, then get a pet. It's the best way to learn how to put the needs of something which is defenceless and mute before your own. Dogs are the most dependant so if you have the inclination then go for it, I'm sure you'll be glad you did!
5 - Learn to be alone sometimes. This one's hard for me. I've always been terrible at being on my own but it's such an important lesson that I've slogged my guts out at achieving it. The only person we'll never lose touch with is ourselves so we need to find that person bloody good company.
And that's it I think. Nothing funny or wild or deviant I'm afraid, just five things that I wanted to share. Oh and one other - if you haven't flung yourself of a bridge with a bit of elastic tied around your ankles by this point then you haven't lived at all. Ha ha ha.
Monday, 24 August 2009
I did warn you...
Sooooo I've made the decision to ease myself back into this blogging thing by relying on tried and tested ground - a recipe. Yeah it's not big or clever but hell, when you taste the thing you'll be loving me then.
Comfort Eggs
This is lovely for a leisurely breakfast when the weather's a bit miserable :)
Serves 2
Tablespoon of olive oil
Half a onion
Green chili
Tin of chopped tomatoes
Knob of butter
4 eggs
Splash of milk
Handful of Cheddar cheese
Salt & Pepper
4 slices of bread, toasted
Heat the oil in a pan then add the chopped onion and fry gently on a medium heat until browned. This takes much longer than you think so allow a good 6 minutes - nothing worse than undercooked onion! Then add the chopped chili and cook for a further 2 mins. Pour in the chopped tomatoes and leave to simmer.
In a bowl add the eggs, milk and seasoning and whisk together until frothy. Melt the butter in a new pan and pour in the eggy mixture. Keep the heat medium-low. Scramble the eggs by stirring every now and then and don't let them stick to the bottom of the pan. When the eggs are almost there add the cheese and stir through then add the tomato sauce. Mix thoroughly. Served on hot buttery toast this is certain to warm the cockles of your heart. Enjoy. Yum!
*Shih Tzu/Pug cross. Of course there are other variations on the name such as Pug Tzu and Shih Poo - the latter is particularly delightful..
Thursday, 23 July 2009
Day Three...
This morning I found the diary I'd kept as a thirteen year old. I sat and read the whole thing in one sitting as it was bloody riveting! Not, sadly, because it was full of intrigue and mystery, or because it was brilliantly witty (it WASN'T) but because I couldn't really believe that the person in there had ever been me. It was surreal, all those long forgotten feelings came rushing to the surface to remind me that no matter how far you think you've come, every incarnation you've ever been is still buried somewhere deep inside. What a scary fact.
One of the (many) weird things it made me think of was just how grown up I thought I was at that age! The older I get the easier it is to forget that kids really don't stay innocent for very long at all. Practically the whole ruddy thing is about BOYS. Lots of them. And each one I am desperately and hopelessly in love with - for about a week. Then I move easily onto my next undying crush. I was tickled by how if my feelings for someone weren't reciprocated instantly I completely lost interest in them! Ha, so fickle. I never have been someone who wanted to be in anyone's gang who doesn't want to be in mine. Teflon-coated ego!
Another thing I was surprised at was just how shallow and vacuous I was. I realise that there aren't many young teenagers with hidden depths but, good god; I'm just a walking, talking hormone!
I also note that I seem to have been a bit mean. I'm ready to admit that I was many unpleasant things as a child, bossy, loud, opinionated, precocious, and a general little madam (most of which I still am) but I've also learned with time that I wasn't all bad... I'd also claim that I was loyal, fearless, fun, tough and charming. The one thing I believed I wasn't was MEAN. But it turns out that I really was a bit, as my embarrassing diary testifies.
A few years ago a girl walked up to me in a club and accused me of having made her life hell. I only vaguely recognised her and had to ask someone else for her name. I spent the following weeks absolutely mortified and checked with all my friends from childhood that she was mistaken, wasn't she? I still have no recollection of ever bullying this girl, in fact I can't think of any specific memories with her in them, in my mind she was simply another member of my drama group (see, a performing arts brat too - it just gets better!). However there are other incidents in my diary involving other people that solidify my status as a bit of a cow. I can no longer live in denial.
So, the question is, what do I do with this proof? How should I atone for my past wrongs and is it even possible? I think I feel a little better having told you, my anonymous reader, so that's a start. Is it helpful to carry around with us guilt that we can do nothing about? Will it help me be a better, kinder person in future to always bear in mind that long ago I hurt someones feelings intentionally? Or is this simply what being a kid is all about? Don't we have to make mistakes in the first place in order to learn from them? I truly am sorry for my crappy behaviour but I also know that I have my fair share of memories where I was on the receiving end of meanness and I don't choose to spend my time brooding over that. Nor would I ever approach a grown woman in a public place and chastise her for something that happened 15 years ago. Perhaps all I can really do is keep that little meanie madam hidden somewhere inside me for the rest of my life and make sure that the other, better versions of myself keep her squashed there forever. I promise to try...
One of the (many) weird things it made me think of was just how grown up I thought I was at that age! The older I get the easier it is to forget that kids really don't stay innocent for very long at all. Practically the whole ruddy thing is about BOYS. Lots of them. And each one I am desperately and hopelessly in love with - for about a week. Then I move easily onto my next undying crush. I was tickled by how if my feelings for someone weren't reciprocated instantly I completely lost interest in them! Ha, so fickle. I never have been someone who wanted to be in anyone's gang who doesn't want to be in mine. Teflon-coated ego!
Another thing I was surprised at was just how shallow and vacuous I was. I realise that there aren't many young teenagers with hidden depths but, good god; I'm just a walking, talking hormone!
I also note that I seem to have been a bit mean. I'm ready to admit that I was many unpleasant things as a child, bossy, loud, opinionated, precocious, and a general little madam (most of which I still am) but I've also learned with time that I wasn't all bad... I'd also claim that I was loyal, fearless, fun, tough and charming. The one thing I believed I wasn't was MEAN. But it turns out that I really was a bit, as my embarrassing diary testifies.
A few years ago a girl walked up to me in a club and accused me of having made her life hell. I only vaguely recognised her and had to ask someone else for her name. I spent the following weeks absolutely mortified and checked with all my friends from childhood that she was mistaken, wasn't she? I still have no recollection of ever bullying this girl, in fact I can't think of any specific memories with her in them, in my mind she was simply another member of my drama group (see, a performing arts brat too - it just gets better!). However there are other incidents in my diary involving other people that solidify my status as a bit of a cow. I can no longer live in denial.
So, the question is, what do I do with this proof? How should I atone for my past wrongs and is it even possible? I think I feel a little better having told you, my anonymous reader, so that's a start. Is it helpful to carry around with us guilt that we can do nothing about? Will it help me be a better, kinder person in future to always bear in mind that long ago I hurt someones feelings intentionally? Or is this simply what being a kid is all about? Don't we have to make mistakes in the first place in order to learn from them? I truly am sorry for my crappy behaviour but I also know that I have my fair share of memories where I was on the receiving end of meanness and I don't choose to spend my time brooding over that. Nor would I ever approach a grown woman in a public place and chastise her for something that happened 15 years ago. Perhaps all I can really do is keep that little meanie madam hidden somewhere inside me for the rest of my life and make sure that the other, better versions of myself keep her squashed there forever. I promise to try...
Wednesday, 22 July 2009
The Second One
Sooooo, day two of my blogging adventures and still I haven't a clue of what I want to write about. I may have to simply resort to telling you about one of the things in life that I love.
I love...
Eating chunky peanut butter straight out of the jar using my finger. For some reason it tastes a million times better this way. I think it's exciting because of the memory of being yelled at for doing it as a kid. I'm still utterly thrilled at the idea that this is MY jar of peanut butter, in MY fridge, and I can eat it in any piggy old way I choose to.
On a similar note one of the main reasons (if not THE main reason) I had for desperately wanting to be a 'grown-up' was the undeniably delicious thought that one day I'd be able to purchase a tub of Philadelphia cheese and eat the whole bloody lot in one sitting if I wanted to. I almost couldn't wrap my head around the freedom of being able to just buy it and eat it all WITHOUT GETTING DONE! I honestly don't believe this buzz will ever wear off, and I'm almost thirty *shhhhhh*
I think I just may be a glutton... but a happy one.
I love...
Eating chunky peanut butter straight out of the jar using my finger. For some reason it tastes a million times better this way. I think it's exciting because of the memory of being yelled at for doing it as a kid. I'm still utterly thrilled at the idea that this is MY jar of peanut butter, in MY fridge, and I can eat it in any piggy old way I choose to.
On a similar note one of the main reasons (if not THE main reason) I had for desperately wanting to be a 'grown-up' was the undeniably delicious thought that one day I'd be able to purchase a tub of Philadelphia cheese and eat the whole bloody lot in one sitting if I wanted to. I almost couldn't wrap my head around the freedom of being able to just buy it and eat it all WITHOUT GETTING DONE! I honestly don't believe this buzz will ever wear off, and I'm almost thirty *shhhhhh*
I think I just may be a glutton... but a happy one.
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
The Beginning
So here it is, my very first blog. I've been meaning to start this for such a long time but as I'm incurably lazy I never got around to it. Most of my life takes place in my head, there's so many brilliant things I've thought about doing but putting them into actuality never seems to happen. I don't mind so much. At least my imagination isn't broken. The problem I have is that although I've wanted to blog for a while I never had any idea of what on earth I'd write about. I know that most people choose a subject or a theme but I'm afraid I have neither. What I DO have though is a great recipe for burgers... yep you heard, burgers. This was what I made for dinner last night, it was was yummy, simple and I think you should try it.
REGRUB BURGER
Serves 2
Splash of olive oil
300g Minced Beef
Half a chopped onion
1 Egg
Handful of breadcrumbs
Cumin
Mustard
4 Burger Baps
Preheat the oven to 200C. Grease a baking tray with the olive oil. Mix the beef, onion, egg, breadcrumbs, cumin, mustard and salt & pepper in a bowl with your hands then divide into four burger shapes onto the baking tray. Bake in the oven for 25 minutes, turning once halfway through.
I like mine with lettuce tomato & mayonnaise, my chap likes them with a solitary dollop of ketchup. Whatever works for you, enjoy!
And that's it, my very first blog post is born! I wonder what will happen next time...
Till then, ta ta.
REGRUB BURGER
Serves 2
Splash of olive oil
300g Minced Beef
Half a chopped onion
1 Egg
Handful of breadcrumbs
Cumin
Mustard
4 Burger Baps
Preheat the oven to 200C. Grease a baking tray with the olive oil. Mix the beef, onion, egg, breadcrumbs, cumin, mustard and salt & pepper in a bowl with your hands then divide into four burger shapes onto the baking tray. Bake in the oven for 25 minutes, turning once halfway through.
I like mine with lettuce tomato & mayonnaise, my chap likes them with a solitary dollop of ketchup. Whatever works for you, enjoy!
And that's it, my very first blog post is born! I wonder what will happen next time...
Till then, ta ta.
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